20 Years of Advice and Almost Nothing to Show for it.

Click Here For Music

Click Here For Music 

Click Here For a 
Creepy Adorable
 Song



      Throughout my years I have received plenty of good and bad advice. 

Surprisingly, a lot of the bad advice has come from my parents, and a lot of the good advice has come from some of my close friends. Seems backwards, does it not?

Bless my poor parents hearts. They tried, but advice was never really their forte. 

The most recent advice my step-adoptive father thing told me was to (excuse my language) screw everyone else and to just pay attention to me. He told me that everyone else is going to hate me, and that I had to look out for me and me only. 

He meant well. I know he did. But in the end, I don't want to live that way. It was a prefect example of the "Parents are People too," argument.

All of my parents "advice" is along those lines.

I remember when I was little, my parents told me that people weren't going to like me if I didn't change my personality. I was around 10 at the time, and I wasn't the happiest kid. I never really talked to anyone. This is what they were referring to by my "personality." I knew what they meant. I needed to talk and not look miserable all the time if I wanted to make friends. But things like that sort of tainted my thought about receiving advice form others. Growing up I remember thinking that people weren't going to like me because of who I was naturally, and I find that that still affects me today. 

I don't really ask my adoptive mom for advice. I'll talk to her about my problems, but I don't ever ask for her opinion on how I should handle them. Another thing I have learned over the years is that when she gives advice, the outcome will benefit her more than it will benefit me. The rare times that I do take her advice, things usually don't end up going too well for me. In the video we watched, JK Rowling says this,
"I do not blame my parents for their point of view, there is an expire date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction."
I believe that that date comes when you start making decisions for yourself. So now if I mess up, I know is no ones fault but my own.

I never really ask anyone for advice. 

People will give me advice, but for the most part, I just do what I feel I need to. If I mess up, oh well. Such is life. 

As much as I believe in taking your own advice, there have been some pieces of advice I've either heard, read, or seen that have stuck with me. 

One thing that someone told me a long time ago was to never make any rash decisions late at night. People tend to feel worse at night. Physically and emotionally.
Click Here to Read an Interesting Discussion on Why We Feel More Depressed at Night 
I find myself using this advice quite often. One of my friends will text me late at night saying that they are sad and my response is always the same. 

Sleep. Everything is better after sleep. 

If I'm laying in bed and I want to give up on something, I know that I have to wait until the next morning to officially make up my mind. That way I will be thinking clearly. 

The next piece of advice I live by is something that I discovered by myself when I was around 12 or 13. 

When I was in grade school kids were always really mean to me over stupid things like my glasses, or the fact that I was really short. But I never was mean to other kids. My teacher always would ask me why I didn't just treat them the way they treated me. My response was always the same, and still is. 

What if that child goes home everyday and cries themselves to sleep? 

What if their home life is miserable? 

Maybe the only thing that is keeping them sane is knowing that they aren't at the bottom of the social chain. If they want to call me a mean name so that they feel a little bit better for a while, so be it. That might be the only thing that they like in their lives right now. 

So the advice I would tell myself was to treat everyone like they just had the worst day of their lives. 
You don't know what people are going through. 

Yeah, you think that suicide joke you told during class was funny? Well the kid sitting in the corner of the classroom that has been contemplating wether or not he deserves to live didn't find it as funny. 

You think that fat joke was pretty clever, huh? 

Well, that girl you just made fun of goes home and sticks her fingers down her throat in hopes that one day, just maybe, she will be happy with the way she looks. 

The other piece of advice that I love is one that is simple and to the point. 

Generosity is the most important thing we have to offer. Let go of the things you don't need.

I don't remember where I heard this. It was around freshmen year. I don't think this means giving a homeless man a hundred dollar bill and call it a day. Generosity is going to the store and buying that man food. Generosity is putting others above yourself. It is something that this generation is seriously lacking. No one wants to give up the things they have. Everyone wants to have as much as they can possible get. 

If someone I know needs something, I will do whatever I need to to make sure they get it. Wether they need someone to talk to, or someone to drive them home at 3 am. I'll be there. 

I have gained many things in my life simply by being selfless and generous. 

Most of the advice that I live by is common knowledge. 
They aren't hard things to remember.

Don't make important decisions without sleeping on them first, treat people like they have just had the worst day of their lives, and don't forget to be generous.